Note to self:
Don’t fall for the incarcerated felon.
Don’t message him when your best friend feeds you enough wine to make it sound like a good idea, don’t take the bait when he teases you because you’re older, don’t answer his phone calls and swoon when you hear how charming he is.
Don’t get excited about the fact that he’s crazy possessive, absolutely obsessed, and has a jealous streak bright enough to light up the night sky.
You definitely aren’t allowed to agree to be his fake wife when he starts fantasizing about your futures, and for the love of everything, do not answer your door when he finally quits calling unless you know exactly who it is.
Just don’t do it.
It’s as easy as that, right? Too bad I’ve never been a good listener.
