James III, King of the United Kingdom, is the first modern monarch outed by his own drunken voicemail after a misdialled message meant for his ex reaches a member of staff and is sold to The Sun.
The world still does not know he was calling Tristan Whitlock, a former child star with a stalled career and a plan to fake-date Princess Caroline for a little royal shine and better roles.
Her brother was never part of that strategy.
Tristan aimed for the princess, fell hard for the king, and now finds their second chance playing out in puns at official engagements, against every piece of advice.
He has spent his life chasing the lead, and loving James would leave him two steps behind, in the supporting role he has never learned to play.
